top of page
The Rev. Frank St. Amour, III

The Cat Sat on the Mat

How would the Church deal with "the cat sat on the mat" if it appeared in the Bible?


The Methodists would state that “cat” and “mat” had different meanings in those days and the phrase is not to be taken literally.


The Southern Baptists would say that a Felix Domesticus did physically place its whole body on a floor covering which is on the floor but not of the floor. The expression "on the floor but not of the floor" would be explained in a leaflet.


The Roman Catholics would declare the Feast of the Sedentation of the Blessed Cat teaching that the cat was white, long-haired, and reclined on a mat of gold thread. This is commemorated by the singing of the Magnifi-cat (sic), lighting three candles, and ringing a bell five times.


The Eastern Orthodox Church would insist that Holy Cats Day (two weeks later) be marked by lighting six candles and ringing the bell four times while chanting a litany (response – Me-ow).


The Lutherans would issue a 210-page statement on the Doctrine of the Feline Sedentation with appropriate footnotes and appendices.


The Episcopal House of Bishops would urge the owning of cats so that the man or woman in the pew might form a personal pastoral understanding of what the phrase might mean.


But, the Episcopal clergy, in keeping with the finest traditions of Anglican inclusivity, would teach and practice all of the above in accord with churchmanship and personal piety.


The cats, of course, won’t care.

119 views1 comment

Recent Posts

See All

Sermon - 12 Pentecost

In the Name... A recent headline in the Cincinnati Enquirer, reported on MSN, read, "Smell of baked bread poses environmental risk."  The...

Sermon - 11 Pentecost

PENTECOST 11, August 4th, 2024  In the Name... Once upon a time, there was a poor man named Tasuku who made his living cutting blocks of...

Sermon - 9 Pentecost

In the Name... There’s a story told from Poland, set many years ago.  It seems there was a small country village and into this village...

1 comentário


lbergenwheatley
24 de jul. de 2020

And what about the mat? Surely it deserves equal time?

Curtir
bottom of page