In the Name... One Sunday, a little boy was kneeling with his mother before the service started, and he began laughing. “Johnny,” his mother said, “Stop that.” “It’s okay, Mother,” the boy replied, “I just told God a joke and we’re laughing about it.” Now what are we doing here today? It wasn't to hear that one, that's for sure. But, when you got up this morning did you stop and ask yourself - why am I going to church? I think it's a fair question because there isn't one

ALL SAINTS’ SUNDAY, November 5th, 2017 In the Name... The story is told of two brothers who were involved in crime, corruption, and every manner of vice. When the older brother died, his younger brother went all out in planning the funeral. The problem was finding someone willing to do the service. Knowing that the one of the local churches was having a capital campaign, the younger brother called upon the pastor and said, "I'd like you to do my brother's funeral and if yo

In the Name… The story is told of when Henry Ford visited Ireland in the 1920’s and made a $1,000 donation to a local hospital. That was a generous sum, back then, but, the newspaper printed that his donation was $10,000. To the relief of the embarrassed officials, Ford agreed to make up the difference but, on condition that in the entrance hall there be inscribed a verse of Scripture; Matthew 25.43, "I was a stranger, and ye took me in." The theme of hospitality looms larg

In the Name... There were once two men shipwrecked on a desert island. One of them started screaming and yelling, “We're going to die! We're going to die!" But, the second man just sat quietly against a tree and said, "Relax. I make $100,000 a month." The first man stared at him in disbelief and shouted, "What does that have to do with anything?” The second man calmly replied, "I make $100,000 a month and I tithe. Don't worry. My pastor will find me!" Well, this Sunda

In the Name... A Baptist minister and an Episcopal priest once agreed to hold a pulpit exchange. Since the priest would wear a plain suit at the Baptist church, he asked the minister to wear an alb when he visited the Episcopal church. The next day, the priest asked his friend how he thought it went. "Just fine" the minister replied, "But, I was sure glad to put my trousers back on afterwards." Throughout his ministry, Jesus used stories - parables - to express and communi

In the Name... One Halloween, two boys went trick-or-treating and one brought some eggs to throw at houses. On the way, the older said to the younger, "I'll give you five dollars if you let me break three eggs on your head." The little boy knew it was going to be painful and messy, but, because he wanted the money, he agreed, so, the older boy broke the first egg on his head. It hurt and got his head gooey, but, he readied himself for the second. This one also hurt, but, h

In the Name... A few years ago, Sue and I were traveling in Ireland and we stopped late one night to get some fish and chips. The town where we stopped, however, had hosted a major football match earlier in the day and the shop had been cleaned out by the ravenous hoards. All they could offer us was fried smoked cod. Probably, one of the worst meals I've ever eaten, but, I can truly say, it was the piece of cod which passeth all understanding. This mornings' selection from

In the Name... A fellow asked his boss for a raise because, he said, he was doing the work of three men. The boss said he wouldn't give him the raise, but, he'd fire the three men. The Bible contains a great many stories that people often find unbelievable - a talking serpent, a great flood, the parting of a sea, a virgin birth - but, this morning's Gospel parable must be the most unbelievable of all. A businessman who gives all his workers a generous wage regardless of hou

In the Name... Once upon a time there was an elephant who worked in the forests of India moving logs with his trunk. His owner took good care of him but, was too poor to buy enough food for him. So each evening, on the way back from their work, the two of them would make a round of the houses in the village. Most people gave the elephant something to eat, but, one day they made a stop at the tailor's house. The tailor came out, took his needle and gave the elephant a shar

In the Name... There was once a barber who became a born-again Christian and couldn’t wait to share his new-found faith. So, one Monday, holding his Bible and razor, the barber approached his first customer and asked, “Good morning. Are you ready to meet Jesus?” The summer is usually a slow period for news. Reporters have to search for interesting stories. Well, this past summer there was no shortage of headlines. But, buried away under them was a little story about a pre

The Blue Screen of Death I remember the first time I put on sunglasses with polarized lens. The sky changed from a diffuse featureless plane of light to piles of shapely clouds and a vast volume of light and shadow, full of previously unseen colors. Similarly when I went fishing the water was opaque shimmering silver out to the horizon until I put on my polarized sunglasses. Suddenly I could see beneath the surface. Previously invisible fish, rocks on the bottom and water pla

In the Name... Among the fables of Aesop is one entitled “The Hunter and the Woodsman.” A hunter was out following the tracks of a lion. He asked a woodsman felling oaks in the forest if he had seen any. “Oh yes,” said the woodsman, “In fact, I can even take you to the lion's den myself.” At this, the hunter turned pale and stuttered, “No, no, thank you. It is only his tracks for which I am looking.” When it comes to God, it seems that a lot of folks are like this hunter

In the Name... There's a scene I recall from one of the Frankenstein movies made in the 1970's. In this movie, the creature is given refuge by a rival doctor. When that doctor's two Chinese servants enter the room, the creature turns his disfigured face aside, but, the doctor comforts him with the words, "Don't worry. We all look alike to them." I know, not terribly PC these days, but ethnic humour and cultural stereotypes are as old as man. So, how easy is it to save 15%

In the Name... A church put a sign out front which read “You will pay for your sins.” But, somebody wrote below it, “If you have already paid, please disregard this notice.” We have had some wonderful Gospel lessons recently. Last week, Jesus transfigured in glory. Today, Jesus walking on the water. Grand events described in grand language. Indeed, it often seems the life and ministry of Jesus is just one big thing after another. One minute casting out demons or healing

In the Name... A Sunday School teacher asked her class if any of them could define "prayer." One little boy raised his hand and said, "Prayer is when we talk to God." "Very good", the teacher replied, "And when do we pray?” she asked. A little girl raised her hand and answered, "At bedtime and on Sunday - when the rates are lower." That really dates this joke, doesn’t it? When the name of King Solomon is mentioned, we think, at once, of his legendary wisdom and a famous c

In the Name... A fiery preacher was once banging his pulpit and regaling his flock on the torments of Hell including weeping and the gnashing of teeth when one old fellow had had enough of this rant and stood up with his dentures in his hand and shouted, "I ain't got no teeth." Unfazed, the preacher glared at him and said, "Teeth will be provided." The wisdom of Solomon is proverbial, but, I think the late King Feisal of Saudi Arabia might run a close second. Early in his r

In the Name... A man went to a farm stand, and, to make sure he was getting quality produce he asked, “Excuse me, I’m buying these for my wife and need to know if they have been sprayed with poisonous chemicals.” “Oh, no,” the farmer replied, “You’ll have to do that yourself.” I have no green thumb. In fact, I have two left thumbs when it comes to gardening. Believe me. Just look around the Rectory. What I plant never ends up looking like the nice pictures on the front o

In the Name... Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?'' The mother replied, "Because white is the colour of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment and then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?" Many of us know the story of Faust or at least we've heard variations on the theme. Someone sells their soul to the devil for wealth or fame or

Sermon: PENTECOST 3, June 25th, 2017 In the Name... The late Senator Sam Ervin took pride in describing himself as just a “poor country lawyer” and he is alleged to have offered the following prayer at a lawyers’ luncheon. "O Lord, look favourably upon our profession and stir up dissension among thy people." It is a fact that Jesus said a number of things which are difficult for a lot of people to accept, but, this morning's text about division in families must be one of the

In the Name... "Good morning, Mr Phelps." A lot of us may remember that as a tagline of the TV series "Mission: Impossible." The line continued with the words, "Your mission, Jim, if you choose to accept it, is..." and then some incredibly difficult – impossible, in fact – task was described. Well, have you ever wondered what the disciples thought when they heard Jesus say to them, "Your mission, my friends, is to cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, and ca